Connection: when people are your top value

People who rank connection highest put relationships and belonging at the centre. In values research, this is close to benevolence: caring for the people around you and being loyal to them.

This value is strongly linked with wellbeing, since close relationships are one of the best predictors of a happy life. The risk is putting others first so often that your own needs go missing.

You may recognise yourself if

• You keep in touch with friends from many stages of life
• Conflict with someone close affects your whole day
• You choose jobs partly for the people
• Family gatherings matter a lot to you

What this style does well

• You build trust and loyalty
• You make people feel they belong
• You keep groups and families together

Blind spots

• You may struggle to say no to people you love
• Your own goals can slip behind others' needs
• Distance or silence can feel like rejection

With other styles

With a freedom partner, agree on regular shared time and trust them with their independence. With an achievement partner, make relationship time as concrete as their goals. Two connection people create a warm life but should make room for personal growth too.

Tips

• Keep one goal that is only for you
• Tell your partner which rituals matter most to you
• Practise saying no kindly to protect your energy

Frequently asked questions